By Cheri Scott, DSI parent navigator
Although puberty and sexuality issues are challenging parts of life for
all parents and kids, these topics can make parents of adolescents with special
needs want to hide their heads under the covers and wish it all away. From
dealing with changing bodies and the onset of menstruation to mood swings,
masturbation, and fears of victimization, these can be scary years.
This is just one parent’s perspective, but to me the most important thing
we can do to help our children and ourselves get through these tempestuous
times is to communicate!
- Talk with other parents that have already gone through this stage with
their children and find out about any doctor or ob/gyn they have found that
is sensitive to the special issues our sons and daughters may have.
- Talk with the school nurse about alternative ways to share information
about growing up if you feel the school’s curriculum on puberty is
too complex for your child to understand.
- Learn the appropriate signs or gather the needed pictures or objects to
make discussion with your son or daughter easier.
- Remember that you may need to repeat the information many times before
your child understands the concept you are trying to teach.
- Start talking with your child about the ways their body will be changing
before it begins to happen.
- Put words or signs to the feelings they may be experiencing and let them
know that those feelings are perfectly normal.
- Practice ahead of time so you are comfortable sharing the information,
that way it will seem as normal as any other part of life.
- Plan ahead for how you will handle inappropriate touch in public situations,
both by your child and others. Remember what may seem cute coming from a
three or four year old –such as playing “I got your nose”
(one of my son’s favorites) seems intrusive and inappropriate when
done by a teenager or adult.
- Plan for “private time” when it seems necessary, not making
it a negative thing, but making sure our children understand that some things
are not done in front of other people.
- Finally (and perhaps most important), keep your sense of humor!
Remember
what it was like when you were going through this.
Every family’s values are different and should be respected. It’s
important to share your expectations and standards with others that are working
with your son or daughter to ensure consistent care. Good luck and smooth
sailing as you help your child navigate the journey to adulthood.
